Discernment Counseling for Couples on the Brink of Divorce
If you or your spouse are considering divorce but are not completely sure that’s the best path, you are in a tough spot. Discernment Counseling is designed for you. It’s a chance to slowdown, take a breath, and look at your options for your marriage.
Discernment Counseling is a new way of helping couples where one person is “leaning out” of the relationship—and not sure that regular marriage counseling would help--and the other is "leaning in”—that is, interested in rebuilding the marriage.
The counselor will help you decide whether to try to restore your marriage to health, move toward divorce, or take a time out and decide later.
The counselor respects your reasons for considering divorce, while trying to open up the possibility of restoring the marriage to health.
The counselor emphasizes the importance of each of you seeing your own contributions to the problems and the possible solutions. This will be useful in future relationships even if this one ends.
-
The goal is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction for your marriage, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future.
The goal in Discernment Counseling is not to solve your marital problems, but to see if they are solvable. You will each be treated with compassion and respect no matter how you are feeling about your marriage at the moment. No bad guys and good guys.
-
Clarity and Confidence: Get clear on whether to separate/divorce, commit to 6 months of couples therapy, or continue with the status quo.
Compassionate Guidance: Both partners are treated with respect, regardless of their current stance on the marriage.
Personal Growth: Each partner will explore their contributions to the relationship dynamics, which can be beneficial for future relationships.
Neutrality: The Discernment Counselor is not pushing for any particular outcome, but rather facilitating the partners in getting clearer and more able to articulate to each other what their issues and needs are, so they can better determine the best path forward.
-
You will come in as a couple, but the most important work occurs in the one-to-one conversations with the counselor. Why? Because you are starting out in different places.
Discernment Counseling at the Gaia Center is currently offered by our founder, Valerie Martin. The structure involves between 1 and 5 sessions, and the couple only commits to one session at a time, deciding whether to schedule an additional session at the end of each one.
The first session lasts 2 hours and costs $480, and each subsequent session lasts 90 minutes and costs $360.
-
One spouse has already decided to divorce
There is coercion to participate
There is a risk of domestic violence
A couple is contemplating breaking up, but has never made a lifelong commitment to each other and/or had children together
-
Research shows that about half of the couples who undergo Discernment Counseling decide to continue on to regular couples therapy. The ultimate goal is to achieve clarity and make informed decisions about the relationship that support what is best for both individuals.
Significant research has been done regarding potential outcomes, based upon a two year followup study of research on Discernment Counseling— learn more in this 3-minute video.
Get Divorce Help in Nashville
If you and your spouse are at a crossroads, Discernment Counseling can provide the support and clarity you need. Contact The Gaia Center for Embodied Healing to schedule a free brief phone consultation and take the first step towards understanding if Discernment Counseling is a fit for your relationship.