As a graduate student with a counseling internship and full-time job, I have a lot on my plate— which seems to be the norm rather than the exception in this always-on, everyone-has-a-side-hustle culture.
And that’s not even considering stress related to the ongoing pandemic and general state of the world right now. I don’t know about y’all, but I often find myself fantasizing about a vacation to a beautiful island on some mythical date in the future, which at this point still feels like exactly that— a fantasy. Don’t get me wrong, taking some time off can be a wonderful opportunity for some R&R… but it’s often not a realistic option, certainly for ongoing self-care.
For folks like many of our clients who have experienced trauma, clinical anxiety and depression, eating disorders, and other mental health issues, the impact of these challenges often feels like a chaos tornado raging through your life. But even people who don’t necessarily have these challenges can get swept up into the tornado, just because of the nature of our society and the many responsibilities people are dealing with (all without adequate societal support and safety nets, but… that’s a blog post for another day.)
Sometimes the chaos arises due to external events that we don’t have much, if any, control over. It can also show up internally in the form of distressing thoughts, feelings, and stories we tell ourselves. In many instances, we experience both internal and external chaos at the same time, which can be overwhelming and further fuel the fire of the stress cycle.
In this post, I’ll share just a few strategies to help navigate the stress and chaos of everyday life.
Look for resources & support (...sometimes in unexpected places)
While we usually can’t totally eliminate the stressors that feel chaotic, we can often take steps to better resource ourselves and make small changes that can lessen the intensity of the stress they’re causing. For example, when I first started my internship, I decided to try out one of those meal kit services you’re always hearing ads for on podcasts. I don’t have much experience with cooking, and tend to lean toward quick and easy meals. I was still getting used to my new schedule, and cooking meals for myself on top felt like a hassle and the last thing I wanted to do when I was done for the day.
And if some of these small changes are a bit rocky at first, remember— even positive change is still change, and it takes time to adjust! The first meal I made from the kit was a disaster, and in frustration, I soon after cancelled my membership. When I got more used to my new routine and knew what I was in for with the cooking, I decided to give it another shot, and was better able to integrate it into my routine.
The moral of the story is that, even if it takes some adjustment (and sometimes some extra cash, which we won’t always have), there are resources out there that can reduce some of the day-to-day stressors in your life. Even if a meal delivery service isn’t in your budget right now, we also love online meal planning tools (at least the ones that aren’t about weight loss… they do exist!) that eliminate the decision fatigue of “what the heck do I make for dinner?!”
Just do the next right thing
When experiencing feelings of overwhelm, it may feel impossible to make a decision or move forward. Instead of looking at the big picture, it can be helpful to zoom in and focus on what the next right thing for you in that moment may be. And seriously, let it be ridiculously simple, like: “Put dish in dishwasher.” Even say it out loud if it helps! And only once that thing is done, then do the next right thing. We often create unnecessary stress by not breaking down projects or larger tasks into small enough pieces.
While you are most likely unable to solve all of your problems in the next few hours, you can decide what to make for dinner that will be most satisfying for you. When in doubt, use one of our go-to mottos: “Short term plan: lunch. Long term plan: bedtime.”
Use self-care micro-practices
While you may not be able to take that dream vacation anytime soon, you can make some time everyday to tend to yourself. We’ve all made the excuses to ourselves: not enough time, money, don’t feel like it, the list goes on— and while it’s true that there are limits to the resources and options available to each of us, it’s also very easy to fall into the excuse-trap when really the issue is that we are not making the time to engage in consistent self-care practices because we’d rather take the path of least resistance (hello, Instagram & TikTok!)
Self-care isn’t all-or-nothing, and it is an ongoing practice. I love the idea of “micro-practices” because you can fit them into even a very full day. Here are just a few examples:
Go for a daytime walk without your phone… even just to the end of the street and back
While doing something you already do, like washing your hands, state internally or out loud a mantra you find calming, like, “I go with the flow.”
Do a 5-minute guided meditation on your favorite app (yes, 5 minutes counts!)
Turn on a song that almost always lifts your spirits
Read for 10 minutes in bed to wind down (PS— it can be important to be mindful of what kind of content you’re consuming right before sleep… keep it light)
Do a short self-massage with lotion or oil, even if you only have time for your feet! In Ayurveda, the sister science of yoga, this is called abhyanga and is one of the foundational self-care practices.
Tend to your environment
It’s not that your space needs to be photo-ready or completely Kondo’d— but it can be important to take the time to design and maintain your environment in a way that makes it feel good to be in. Of course, everyone’s living situation is different, so there may be limitations on how you can change your space; still, there are likely some steps you can take to make it a more cozy, calming environment, such as:
Reducing clutter (sort into piles: organize, give, trash)
Adding calming colors and plants (even faux plants can be mood-lifting!)
Decorating your space with pictures or objects that make you smile
Most importantly, remember that— like most things in life— learning how to navigate through stressful moments or seasons— is a process, not something you’ll “figure out” now and do perfectly forever. But you can take steps to reduce the sense of chaos by focusing on what’s in front of you, making space for tiny moments of self-care, and being a good steward of your space. We hope these reminders are helpful for finding more inner peace and calm, no matter what challenges you may be facing.
